I hope this blog will serve several purposes – to express to some of my favorite people on the planet how much they mean to me, clear the air about my frame of mind when I saw some of them this past weekend and express where I am now with a number of things.
I went to a youth and college group reunion at Frazer Memorial United Methodist Church in Montgomery, Ala. this past weekend with my daughter.
Given a number of factors, I got about four and a half hours of sleep the morning before the reunion, then drove about four hours – with stops – to Montgomery.
On the way into town, I passed the area of the city where I “cut my teeth.” I'd been by there hundreds of times in the last 10 years after my Mom's death but I cried this time.
I cried:
For what – and who – was no longer there.
For a past I couldn't change.
And, possibly, for a difficult-to-see future.
This past week, certain aspects of my life got tied into a huge black mass of frustration, fatigue and bitterness.
I spoke from this place of negativity at times while interacting with some of the people I saw at the reunion but I didn't fully realize it until my daughter and I were on our way to where we were staying for the night.
I'd hoped I hadn't alienated anyone because of my – at times – sour attitude.
Aside from my tendency to want to be liked anyway, this particular group of people is important to me because they were part of the place where God laid a significant foundation for me in a couple of areas – spiritually and socially.
Many of the folks in the college group helped me learn how to experience genuine social interaction with others. My time there also gave me a serious root system in the faith.
Additionally, I believe the Lord forged and inspired in us – men and women alike – a bond which goes beyond routine friendship.
Two days removed from the reunion, I feel like I've had something extracted which was in dire need of removal.
I feel refreshed, revived – like I've had layers of caked-on dirt washed away.
I know this is just what I needed.
If I got to see you this weekend, please know I do care about you, regardless of how lost in my own sandbox I might have seemed.
If you were part of this rag-tag group of folks and didn't get to come this time, see what you can do to attend next time.
It's hard to say what the future will hold, but I know going to back to see old friends from the college group did more than just revive memories.
It jump-started my heart.
And that's always a good thing.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
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5 comments:
Wow! This is really beautiful. I will be praying that you allow God to continue to dig in and extract any leftover junk so you can fully lean on Him and be lead by Him. He has great plans for you and your family, and I can't wait to see it!
Love you, Paul! Wish I could have been there.
what a beautiful and well written post. I think the Lord really worked that night in a lot of people. The memories and stories being told just seemed to rebond people and rekindle friendships that had been on hold for 20 years. And with Christ as the foundation, it felt like it had only been months since we graduated and left. They are planning another one in 2012 and I am already planning to go! Then we can all be jump started again! It was GREAT seeing you!
Karen: Thank you for the kind and genuine encouragement. It's a good thing I wrote this post on Monday night instead of Sunday because it was a different story on Day 2. :)
J: I'm pretty sure I know who this is. :) Love you and your family and hope we get to see y'all sometime not too far off in the future.
Jodi: I'm sorry we didn't get to spend more time together. Maybe we can see y'all sometime reasonably soon since we're not that far away.
Thanks for letting me know we've got another one already tentatively scheduled. That's great and I look forward to hearing it's taking shape.
Take care y'all and thanks for commenting! :)
Thanks for sharing so transparently, Paul. Well written.
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