I've got to figure a way to balance things - I'm constantly nodding off after about 9 p.m. these days. I am fighting to stay awake long enough to post this. I know this isn't the way things should be, but I haven't found the balance.
I have to find it for my health and sanity, but until I find time to even out my morning it'll be difficult. For now, I'm going to go to bed a good bit earlier than normal.
Anyone else have trouble finding the right set of circumstances for sleep?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Yesterday's science fiction, today's reality
About 10 days ago, Amanda and I did a video chat with a couple in Sydney, Australia from the comfort of our house – with no real effort other than the click of a mouse. We really enjoyed it and learned a great deal.
I just saw an ad for Ford's Sync system in which the driver asks the system to read a message - it tells him a highway is closed. Earlier, I watched an ad about this from this from OnStar: A system which - under the proper conditions - will give law enforcement and OnStar personnel the ability to disengage the acceleration on a vehicle reported stolen. In promoting the feature, OnStar says it will help reduce "the risks of high-speed pursuits," an announcer says on the video.
So, all of this stuff we'd likely have seen imagined – in some shape or form – in science fiction television shows and films of the past.
We're living in a SciFi (or is it SyFy?) show to some degree in everyday circumstances.
My question tonight is – are we better off for it or worse off?
I just saw an ad for Ford's Sync system in which the driver asks the system to read a message - it tells him a highway is closed. Earlier, I watched an ad about this from this from OnStar: A system which - under the proper conditions - will give law enforcement and OnStar personnel the ability to disengage the acceleration on a vehicle reported stolen. In promoting the feature, OnStar says it will help reduce "the risks of high-speed pursuits," an announcer says on the video.
So, all of this stuff we'd likely have seen imagined – in some shape or form – in science fiction television shows and films of the past.
We're living in a SciFi (or is it SyFy?) show to some degree in everyday circumstances.
My question tonight is – are we better off for it or worse off?
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Force feeding and faith shouldn't mix
This morning, Amanda pointed out that Jadyn tends to steer away from spiritual conversations after noticing one she dodged as we readied her for church.
While we don't want to force feed her about Christ, we do want her to encounter Him for herself and we want to set the right atmosphere this. Amanda mentioned we don't pray enough for this to happen and it's true. Later, I was looking through some books on a dresser in one of our rooms and two caught my eye – "You Have What It Takes" by John Eldredge and "101 Ways to Talk to God" by Dandi Daley Mackall.
I've thought about using some of the approaches Mackall suggests in helping Jadyn learn how to have her own conversations with God. Plus, Eldredge says: "She wants to know: Am I lovely? That's the question every little girl is asking. And she looks to her dad to answer it."
I already try to affirm my love for her and my opinion of her beauty on a regular basis. It's the spritual side which has been lagging, but I know that one day, how she sees her relationship with her earthly father will have a direct correlation to how she views God.
I decided to come up with a plan of action to address this, then went to church.
After church, we went to lunch. We talked about what she learned in her children's church class, and she said it was thankfulness. A friend asked her what she was thankful for and her first answer was Jesus. I was relieved!
This doesn't mean I need to slack off and say no further action is required. But it does warm my heart that she does seem to understand.
A few minutes ago, we just completed a nearly one-hour battle to get her to eat some corn. We ended the stalemate by making her down a forkful.
I'm grateful it doesn't seem like helping her develop her faith in Christ isn't coming to the same conclusion.
While we don't want to force feed her about Christ, we do want her to encounter Him for herself and we want to set the right atmosphere this. Amanda mentioned we don't pray enough for this to happen and it's true. Later, I was looking through some books on a dresser in one of our rooms and two caught my eye – "You Have What It Takes" by John Eldredge and "101 Ways to Talk to God" by Dandi Daley Mackall.
I've thought about using some of the approaches Mackall suggests in helping Jadyn learn how to have her own conversations with God. Plus, Eldredge says: "She wants to know: Am I lovely? That's the question every little girl is asking. And she looks to her dad to answer it."
I already try to affirm my love for her and my opinion of her beauty on a regular basis. It's the spritual side which has been lagging, but I know that one day, how she sees her relationship with her earthly father will have a direct correlation to how she views God.
I decided to come up with a plan of action to address this, then went to church.
After church, we went to lunch. We talked about what she learned in her children's church class, and she said it was thankfulness. A friend asked her what she was thankful for and her first answer was Jesus. I was relieved!
This doesn't mean I need to slack off and say no further action is required. But it does warm my heart that she does seem to understand.
A few minutes ago, we just completed a nearly one-hour battle to get her to eat some corn. We ended the stalemate by making her down a forkful.
I'm grateful it doesn't seem like helping her develop her faith in Christ isn't coming to the same conclusion.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Connection without face-time (in most cases)
Over the past year, Amanda and I have gotten to know many people around the United States and a few in other parts of the world through our online connections.
We feel connected to them in some ways more easily and directly sometimes even more than people we've met in person. Why? Because of the conversations we've had on Twitter, e-mail and other forms of electronic communication.
I've been in one particular group of people who share a common background and I feel more comfortable with them than I do with some in-person friends because they are right there with me on this specific issue - they've thought the same things and fought the same battles in their hearts. We are kindred even though we haven't all met in person. We share life and we're as far as 600 miles away.
We've even gotten to know people on the other side of the world and chatted via video or through instant message, just sharing what's on our hearts or minds at the moment.
So, we have family we haven't met in person yet and we're glad to have the bigger, broader definition of family active in our lives.
We feel connected to them in some ways more easily and directly sometimes even more than people we've met in person. Why? Because of the conversations we've had on Twitter, e-mail and other forms of electronic communication.
I've been in one particular group of people who share a common background and I feel more comfortable with them than I do with some in-person friends because they are right there with me on this specific issue - they've thought the same things and fought the same battles in their hearts. We are kindred even though we haven't all met in person. We share life and we're as far as 600 miles away.
We've even gotten to know people on the other side of the world and chatted via video or through instant message, just sharing what's on our hearts or minds at the moment.
So, we have family we haven't met in person yet and we're glad to have the bigger, broader definition of family active in our lives.
Oops!
I wasn't doing this for a prize, but I feel asleep on the couch in the late hours of Friday and woke up early Saturday morning fully intending not to go bed without having blogged and it still bugs me that I missed the window. So here I am, backpedaling barely seven days into the month.
This being said, I am attempting to write now with the hope of writing again later in the day to satisfy Saturday's blogging requirement and have that count - somehow! :)
What do you do to try to make up for something when you've missed a deadline or otherwise just plain messed up? Do you try to make it work somehow, just ignore it or find another way to deal or not deal with it?
This being said, I am attempting to write now with the hope of writing again later in the day to satisfy Saturday's blogging requirement and have that count - somehow! :)
What do you do to try to make up for something when you've missed a deadline or otherwise just plain messed up? Do you try to make it work somehow, just ignore it or find another way to deal or not deal with it?
Thursday, November 05, 2009
How daddies can be caregivers too
Have you ever had one of those instant flashes where you knew what was ahead of you and could only just deal with it and not run away? I got one of those Wednesday.
I walked into Jadyn's daycare. She was resting her head on one of the worker's laps.
Not normal.
One cheek was flush red instead of its usual, lighter shade.
Not normal.
They said she'd been running a fever, but couldn't agree on the degree. So I checked at home - 102.9 F/39.4 C.
Not normal.
With the pattern of normality now fully off kilter, I settled into the caregiver role, since Amanda was 10 hours or so away in Oklahoma. I gave her medication to fight the fever and worked to get her to bed.
Several hours I got her to sleep in her bed, she decides to come into where I'm sleeping and we don't stay asleep for long. So, at somewhere around 5 a.m., I'm up and awake this morning and so is Jadyn.
I get her to the doctor and take careful notes regarding his diagnosis so I can report back to Amanda and the daycare center. The diagnosis was ILI (Influenza Like Illness) - through tests and examination, the doctor ruled out strep, pneumonia and flu. Basically, he said she's a normal child with a fever and sore throat.
So, we get some food at McDonald's, clean up the house a bit and then take a nap, awaking to Amanda back in the house!
Sometimes we're faced with situations outside of our comfort zones and elements and we just have to deal and run with that which we're dealt. I did and think I came out on the other end OK. :)
So when have you faced a situation where you've had to do something you're not used to and how did you manage?
I walked into Jadyn's daycare. She was resting her head on one of the worker's laps.
Not normal.
One cheek was flush red instead of its usual, lighter shade.
Not normal.
They said she'd been running a fever, but couldn't agree on the degree. So I checked at home - 102.9 F/39.4 C.
Not normal.
With the pattern of normality now fully off kilter, I settled into the caregiver role, since Amanda was 10 hours or so away in Oklahoma. I gave her medication to fight the fever and worked to get her to bed.
Several hours I got her to sleep in her bed, she decides to come into where I'm sleeping and we don't stay asleep for long. So, at somewhere around 5 a.m., I'm up and awake this morning and so is Jadyn.
I get her to the doctor and take careful notes regarding his diagnosis so I can report back to Amanda and the daycare center. The diagnosis was ILI (Influenza Like Illness) - through tests and examination, the doctor ruled out strep, pneumonia and flu. Basically, he said she's a normal child with a fever and sore throat.
So, we get some food at McDonald's, clean up the house a bit and then take a nap, awaking to Amanda back in the house!
Sometimes we're faced with situations outside of our comfort zones and elements and we just have to deal and run with that which we're dealt. I did and think I came out on the other end OK. :)
So when have you faced a situation where you've had to do something you're not used to and how did you manage?
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Tearing down the walls
Through the past several months, I've noticed something about Twitter.
I've tweeted about this before, but I think it bears repeating: Folks from a wide sampling across the social media service, at least the ones I've encountered, are from different backgrounds.
Race, color, culture and even to some degree gender segregation and body weight lines are largely erased on Twitter. Why? I think it's because the focus is on 140 characters, not other aspects of the person.
I didn't grow up in a house with a strongly vengeful attitude toward black people but one likely shared by many whites who experienced desegregation - white folks generally wanted no part of it.
But my parents did eventually send me to a majority black high school, and I'm the better for it.
Ultimately, the Lord has worked on my heart to where I'm more inclined to find ways to reach out and broaden my horizons than not.
We're not there yet but I see the encounters I have on Twitter and other social media around the world moving us closer - much closer - to fulfilling Galatians 3:28: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Make it so, Lord, in our lifetimes.
P.S.:
What is your experience with learning how to interact with those who don't look like you?
I've tweeted about this before, but I think it bears repeating: Folks from a wide sampling across the social media service, at least the ones I've encountered, are from different backgrounds.
Race, color, culture and even to some degree gender segregation and body weight lines are largely erased on Twitter. Why? I think it's because the focus is on 140 characters, not other aspects of the person.
I didn't grow up in a house with a strongly vengeful attitude toward black people but one likely shared by many whites who experienced desegregation - white folks generally wanted no part of it.
But my parents did eventually send me to a majority black high school, and I'm the better for it.
Ultimately, the Lord has worked on my heart to where I'm more inclined to find ways to reach out and broaden my horizons than not.
We're not there yet but I see the encounters I have on Twitter and other social media around the world moving us closer - much closer - to fulfilling Galatians 3:28: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Make it so, Lord, in our lifetimes.
P.S.:
What is your experience with learning how to interact with those who don't look like you?
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
A Healing Journey - Part III
As I finally got close enough to the community where the cemetery is to tell, I realized the weather would cooperate and I would finally get to do what I needed.
These are the conditions I found at the cemetery, shortly before 1 p.m. Sept. 5 (my parents' graves are in the foreground):
So while I must have looked fairly strange to any passersby, I conducted business by getting out my laptop and typing my thoughts.
Here is what I wrote:
----
Mom and Dad,
These are the conditions I found at the cemetery, shortly before 1 p.m. Sept. 5 (my parents' graves are in the foreground):
So while I must have looked fairly strange to any passersby, I conducted business by getting out my laptop and typing my thoughts.Here is what I wrote:
----
Mom and Dad,
There's hardly a day which goes by where I don't feel you missing from my life.
As I sit here, I hear what sounds like a band practicing, birds chirping, vehicles going somewhere and life just generally continuing around me.
Yet my life has been stuck – emotionally at least – in two moments in time – one outside of a house in Montgomery where you, Dad, were loaded into a an ambulance and rushed to a hospital. You were probably dead when you got there. I can still see the bag of personal effects they gave Mom; your glasses, your false teeth and probably your wallet were included.
The second was the day 11 years about three hours from now (as I write this) when I unlocked the back door to the house I grew up in and made a mad dash through the house to Mom's bedroom, where I saw someone who'd been gone for several days.
Mom and Dad, I miss you, but I cannot continue to live my life in the past, hung on thse moments of loss and grief. I don't think the Lord intended me to stay in this loop forever, but use these days as milestones on a path of healing.
So, I forgive you Dad, for dying less than 18 hours after we had an argument.
I forgive you Mom, for being the last to go; something for which I thought I would never forgive you.
I'm sorry I fought both of you more than I listened to you. I'm sorry I wasn't as easy to raise as I should have been.
As I feel buried emotions rise to the surface, I can't sit here and say that the only time I'll ever need to do this is today. But I wanted to feel Sept. 5, 1998 all over again, so that I could – somehow – move past it, with healing im my heart, and warm, not frigid, memories in my mind.
I am trusting however, that by the grace of God, this will be the first day of the rest of my life, that I can walk away from here knowing I left something behind. Something I didnt't need. Something I couldn't bear to part with but couldn't carry anymore.
I love you and I know that even though you both sometimes had difficultly showing it emotionally, I know by your provision and concern (I can hear Mom saying on times I was late getting home, "I was about to call the State Troopers.") that you cared.
I trust and hope to see you again in person some day. But for now, I have a family waiting on me who loves and wants to see me. I have, by the grace of God, things yet to accomplish here and hope to live the rest of my life at his good pleasure.
Thank you Jesus for allowing me this time to face what I haven't wanted to for so long. May this day be seen from here forward as a blessing, not a curse. In Jesus' name, Amen.
------
Since this time, I've generally been more determined about what I'm doing and I've been more willing to consider some things about the future which were pretty far out there previously.
But God is good, really, and He is leading us through to the future and I intend to be a different human being after this graveside visit in real, personal and tangible ways.
P.S.: So all this said, do you have a situation in your life you need to confront, but have delayed for years? If so, what is it and what do you hope to do about it?
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