Saturday, February 06, 2010

Acceptance

I've recently discovered a personal challenge I guess I always knew was there but recently became glaringly obvious.
I want people to like me, so I sometimes try too hard to achieve this. I guess somewhere way back (or maybe over a series of times), I felt unliked, unloved and unwelcomed enough to think I had to find external validation to my existence.
So, it seems I'm on a regular search for this elusive emotional stamp, usually from people I wouldn't ordinarily think would like me. It's like a twisted relationship treasure hunt or geocaching game. I'm not sure what “winning” this game will look like but I'll know it when I see it and I haven't arrived. This is complicated by the sense I'm already at a likeability deficit before someone gets to know me.
Yes, I know how messed up this sounds, and it won't likely earn me a spot as add-on chapter to "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
I think of the famous Sally Field Oscar acceptance speech where she said: “You like me, right now, you like me.” She hit the acceptance jackpot and was overcome by it.
I know we have to look first to Christ for acceptance. It cost him a whole lot – his life in fact.
I realize as I examine this that I've got a long way to believe he's really here – right in the midst of this, even as I write. So, healing is in order and he's the only one who can heal a hurt this deep and cavernous. As a believer, I know he accepts me, it needs to start there and work its way out. I invite him to start this healing when he's ready.
Acceptance can't get any better than this (Ephesians 1:4-6): “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
I know I'm not anywhere close to being done with this issue, but acknowledging it and letting Christ do his healing work is the start. And, on the human end, I need simply to let people like me for who I am naturally (and returning the favor), not beg them for their love. If I am really honest with myself and Christ, I already have more than I need and should be willing to give liberally, not act as though I've never received any.
What challenges have you faced with acceptance and how have you overcome them?