Secular music and faith - should there be a line?

As most of you know, one of my favorite bands is Rush. For those who've never heard of them, they're a Canadian rock trio founded in the Toronto area in 1968. Their debut self-titled album hit the shelves in 1974 with Geddy Lee on bass and lead vocals, Alex Lifeson on guitar and (the late) John Rutsey on drums. Later in '74, Rutsey bowed out due to health problems (he died within the last few years), then Neil Peart joined the band as the percussionist. He later became the chief lyricist.
For many years after I became a Christian, I struggled with continuing to listen to this band because they are, well, secular - for starters, and second, they are agnostics at best. Why the struggle? I embraced the Christian counterculture of rock music in the late 1980s/early 1990s and believed some of those who said Satan directly influenced some forms of secular music. Rush got lumped into this category because of the "Red Star" emblem depicted as part of the story in album "2112."
After years of wrestling – and even skipping songs I didn't think were appropriate (which I still do sometimes) – I reconnected with the band on the album "Vapor Trails," the band's first album after they took a hiatus while Peart spent some concentrated time coming to grips with the loss of both his wife and daughter in a short period of time.
The VT album and tour was also my wife's first real introduction into the band's work, and she's hooked too.
On their 2007 release – "Snakes and Arrows" – Rush displayed the song "Faithless." Its chorus goes:
"I don't have faith in faith
I don't believe in belief
You can call me faithless
I still cling to hope
And I believe in love
And that's faith enough for me."
On a "making-of" video for the album, Lee talks about how those outside the church view it as an exclusive club. Essentially, I think they speak for people who see the church as it exists today and want no part of it. This shouldn't be seen as a threat to the church, but a challenge; a challenge to be what we were called to be and be fragrant to God and those who don't know him and are turned off by what they see from his representatives on Earth.
So, do we – as the church – distance ourselves from the likes of people like Rush, or do we appreciate their talents, hear their words and enjoy their work?

So do we trust the storywriter or not?

As I've been thinking through some circumstances in my life recently, I've been mulling over some things Mandy Thompson said. And I've tried to put some of these things in practice. I've worked to approach God with some honesty about how I feel about some of these things. I've come back around to realize there are some heart issues I need to face: How's my attitude about this situation? What have I done to improve it? I have I made the circumstance better or worse for myself or others with the way I've handled it?
The answers, unfortunately, are probably not good.
As I thought on this today, I began to understand the core problem is I'm not trusting God – with friendships and other circumstances. I'm trying to make things happen because I don't like how things have turned out. So I've been trying to reverse-engineer things and cut paths in places which were never meant to be disturbed. In other words, I've been trying to play mini-Providence and it's a role which isn't suited for me.
So instead of trying to "fix" the circumstances, I need to take my hands off of them and let the Person who started writing the story in the first place finish the job. Do we really believe the verse which says: He is faithful to complete it? That's what I need to find out for myself.
In what areas of life are you learning you need to trust God's ability to finish the story?

Acceptance

I've recently discovered a personal challenge I guess I always knew was there but recently became glaringly obvious.
I want people to like me, so I sometimes try too hard to achieve this. I guess somewhere way back (or maybe over a series of times), I felt unliked, unloved and unwelcomed enough to think I had to find external validation to my existence.
So, it seems I'm on a regular search for this elusive emotional stamp, usually from people I wouldn't ordinarily think would like me. It's like a twisted relationship treasure hunt or geocaching game. I'm not sure what “winning” this game will look like but I'll know it when I see it and I haven't arrived. This is complicated by the sense I'm already at a likeability deficit before someone gets to know me.
Yes, I know how messed up this sounds, and it won't likely earn me a spot as add-on chapter to "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
I think of the famous Sally Field Oscar acceptance speech where she said: “You like me, right now, you like me.” She hit the acceptance jackpot and was overcome by it.
I know we have to look first to Christ for acceptance. It cost him a whole lot – his life in fact.
I realize as I examine this that I've got a long way to believe he's really here – right in the midst of this, even as I write. So, healing is in order and he's the only one who can heal a hurt this deep and cavernous. As a believer, I know he accepts me, it needs to start there and work its way out. I invite him to start this healing when he's ready.
Acceptance can't get any better than this (Ephesians 1:4-6): “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
I know I'm not anywhere close to being done with this issue, but acknowledging it and letting Christ do his healing work is the start. And, on the human end, I need simply to let people like me for who I am naturally (and returning the favor), not beg them for their love. If I am really honest with myself and Christ, I already have more than I need and should be willing to give liberally, not act as though I've never received any.
What challenges have you faced with acceptance and how have you overcome them?

Looking back, looking ahead and trying not to crash

This past year, my family and I have gone through some radical changes, the most prominent being my wife's employment with LifeChurch.tv. We've also gotten to know a bunch of wonderful people all around the world. My perspective on the world and how we interact with it has changed radically.
I no longer see just my little chunk of the globe – and what I've experienced of it – by itself. I'm connected with people in India, Australia, Brazil, New Zealand and varying parts of North America. On the whole, this past year is certainly one I don't want to back up and do over (I certainly can't say that for other years, that's for sure).
To look ahead, I know I need to get my weight under control and we've recently taken some positive steps with this by using the Wii Fit system – a step forward from little to no activity is better than standing still.
But beyond this, I hope 2010 is the year I really get some clarity about what I'm to be about and what my purpose is, or at least some level of contentment with my circumstances in various settings. Sometimes I think I'm missing the mark. At other times, I realize I'm probably right where I need to be. Sometimes, I get the wrong messages from my circumstances. So, if nothing else I hope 2010 will be a time when I get my perspective right, even if my circumstance don't change one degree.
Though in much of the last year I've gained a great amount of confidence, I still face challenges in second-guessing myself in so many areas of my life. So, I need to learn how to take risks and not worry about the consequences as much after I make a decision. I should just make the choice, stick with it and pray it works out for the best.
I feel like I've made more progress this past year in living by faith and I want to continue down this path in 2010, learning even more about who Christ is and growing in learning how to love and serve with my brothers and sisters, being more generous in how I spend my resources.
So here's hoping 2010 will end with me being thinner, physically healthy person who is willing to take greater risks with proper wisdom, discernment and confidence in how I approach people and life's circumstances. How will I measure this? I think I'll know and I'm trusting we'll see real fruit from this 364 days from now. So let's do this!

Making the point now

Earlier this week, when I dropped off Jadyn at daycare, a young man she fancies (yes at 4) was in the classroom with her waiting to eat breakfast. She was wearing a new jacket and she wanted him to notice. She called him by name and wanted him to see it. I don't think he was paying attention. As I was preparing to walk out the door to go to work, it registered with me - she wanted him to notice and he didn't, at least not that I saw.
I had plenty of time, so I went back in, hugged her from behind and told her: "You're beautiful and I love you."
I can't be there every time she asked someone to notice, but when I can, I want to remind her that her father genuinely and deeply loves her and wants her to always remember that, especially as she develops a relationship with Christ.
What significant point do you want to make to a loved one, and how do you hope to go about doing it?

Peeling it back

Sometimes it's so easy to look at a circumstance or situation on the surface and think we can lick it. Then, we encounter anything which is challenging related to the details involved and then we realize how much further we have to go. The setbacks can seem impassable, because we see others who either never had the problem at all or found a way to overcome it. It's difficult to see the way forward when you feel trapped in between these two places.
In the long run, I think it is better to go ahead and plunge in and see how tough and disgusting things are and get to the other side in an improved spot.

Glad we're part of this

I've talked about this before here on my blog but my wife is the online experience coordinator for Church Online at LifeChurch.tv.
She typically helps out with the 8 p.m. CDT experience on Tuesday. Yesterday, they had an amazing encounter. I serve at two experiences at other times, one earlier Tuesday and one later Saturday evening, but I've never run into anything like what's described.
Christ's followers are the biggest obstacles people face getting to know Him. While we may never know the outcome of how these people experience Jesus, we know they've been presented truth about Him. Hopefully these planted seeds in these peoples' hearts will develop in something more. But even if it doesn't add up to anything immediate, hopefully they'll think back on their visit and remember the grace of God.

A familiar visitor

This morning, as I was getting ready to take Jadyn outside to play, I started feeling feverish and experienced a pain in my left leg, kind of a cramp throughout much of the leg and a dull ache in the hip joint.
This is how most cases of cellulitis in my legs start for me. They used to be just an annoyance I could get over in about a week. But last year, a case in my right leg kept me out of work for several days in September. Another put me down for the count in December in the left leg. These cases resulted in severe skin damage to both legs. The right leg is a long way toward being healed. The left one is improving but isn't there yet.
It appears at this point I've had a minor relapse in the left leg today. I'm taking the appropriate medication and hopefully won't suffer a great deal with this one.
While we have not been able to make a certain direct correlation to diet, nor have I been diagnosed with such, cellulitis is a common problem for diabetics and these infections would occur after I had overdone sugar.
After the last major round of cellulitis in December, I significantly cut back on the amount of sugar I intake. In fact, I've gone several weeks with out it. I loosened up on it a little bit this week and again, though I am not 100 percent certain this is the cause, the correlation is there.
I've added in a lot of wheat bread and will eat it when nothing else is around.
One of the challenges I face is that I don't just eat to sustain myself. I eat when I'm bored, upset, stressed, happy and wanting to celebrate. I know this and have tried to find the ways to just shut it off and stop it. I've not been able to on my own. I get these cellultis reminders so I don't think I've arrived - that's when I usually get in trouble.
I'm not anywhere close to arriving in addressing this issue.
As I got ready for work this morning, I realized that a difference between this year and last is that people on four, possibly five continents will pray for me about this. This is a huge difference and I believe with their help I can conquer this once and for all.
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P.S.: I thought it might be in order to clarify what cellulitis is – It's a skin infection. The fever and joint/muscle pain are early warning signs the infection is on its way, at least in my experience. Once it is actually visible, cellulitis usually manifests itself by causing redness and swelling in the impacted area. At this point, my latest episode is mild compared to the ones which damaged my legs last year.
Here is more information from WebMD regarding the condition.

Memory flashes

Tonight, I've been thinking about people and circumstances long since passed. A person who was a mutual acquaintance of my parents and our next-door neighbor; an old hotel in town which may not even be there now and if it is, it probably isn't the best in the area; the old AM rock station I used to listen to (yeah I said AM rock station) and others I can't recall right now.
I'm not sure what's been sparking this, but I guess it's part of the healing process of helping me remember that even though a great deal of time has passed since my parents died, the world they lived in isn't completely dead, even though it's changed a great deal.
Lord, help us understand the purpose for old memories and let us live out your plan and passion for it.
What old memories to do you have and how much do you wish to understand them?

Tearing down the walls

Through the past several months, I've noticed something about Twitter.
I've tweeted about this before, but I think it bears repeating: Folks from a wide sampling across the social media service, at least the ones I've encountered, are from different backgrounds.
Race, color, culture and even to some degree gender segregation and body weight lines are largely erased on Twitter. Why? I think it's because the focus is on 140 characters, not other aspects of the person.
I didn't grow up in a house with a strongly vengeful attitude toward black people but one likely shared by many whites who experienced desegregation - white folks generally wanted no part of it.
But my parents did eventually send me to a majority black high school, and I'm the better for it.
Ultimately, the Lord has worked on my heart to where I'm more inclined to find ways to reach out and broaden my horizons than not.
We're not there yet but I see the encounters I have on Twitter and other social media around the world moving us closer - much closer - to fulfilling Galatians 3:28: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Make it so, Lord, in our lifetimes.
P.S.:
What is your experience with learning how to interact with those who don't look like you?

A Healing Journey - Part III

As I finally got close enough to the community where the cemetery is to tell, I realized the weather would cooperate and I would finally get to do what I needed.
These are the conditions I found at the cemetery, shortly before 1 p.m. Sept. 5 (my parents' graves are in the foreground): So while I must have looked fairly strange to any passersby, I conducted business by getting out my laptop and typing my thoughts.
Here is what I wrote:
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Mom and Dad,

There's hardly a day which goes by where I don't feel you missing from my life.

As I sit here, I hear what sounds like a band practicing, birds chirping, vehicles going somewhere and life just generally continuing around me.

Yet my life has been stuck – emotionally at least – in two moments in time – one outside of a house in Montgomery where you, Dad, were loaded into a an ambulance and rushed to a hospital. You were probably dead when you got there. I can still see the bag of personal effects they gave Mom; your glasses, your false teeth and probably your wallet were included.

The second was the day 11 years about three hours from now (as I write this) when I unlocked the back door to the house I grew up in and made a mad dash through the house to Mom's bedroom, where I saw someone who'd been gone for several days.

Mom and Dad, I miss you, but I cannot continue to live my life in the past, hung on thse moments of loss and grief. I don't think the Lord intended me to stay in this loop forever, but use these days as milestones on a path of healing.

So, I forgive you Dad, for dying less than 18 hours after we had an argument.

I forgive you Mom, for being the last to go; something for which I thought I would never forgive you.

I'm sorry I fought both of you more than I listened to you. I'm sorry I wasn't as easy to raise as I should have been.

As I feel buried emotions rise to the surface, I can't sit here and say that the only time I'll ever need to do this is today. But I wanted to feel Sept. 5, 1998 all over again, so that I could – somehow – move past it, with healing im my heart, and warm, not frigid, memories in my mind.

I am trusting however, that by the grace of God, this will be the first day of the rest of my life, that I can walk away from here knowing I left something behind. Something I didnt't need. Something I couldn't bear to part with but couldn't carry anymore.

I love you and I know that even though you both sometimes had difficultly showing it emotionally, I know by your provision and concern (I can hear Mom saying on times I was late getting home, "I was about to call the State Troopers.") that you cared.

I trust and hope to see you again in person some day. But for now, I have a family waiting on me who loves and wants to see me. I have, by the grace of God, things yet to accomplish here and hope to live the rest of my life at his good pleasure.

Thank you Jesus for allowing me this time to face what I haven't wanted to for so long. May this day be seen from here forward as a blessing, not a curse. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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Since this time, I've generally been more determined about what I'm doing and I've been more willing to consider some things about the future which were pretty far out there previously.

But God is good, really, and He is leading us through to the future and I intend to be a different human being after this graveside visit in real, personal and tangible ways.

P.S.: So all this said, do you have a situation in your life you need to confront, but have delayed for years? If so, what is it and what do you hope to do about it?

A Healing Journey - Part II

As I pushed on toward Alabama and wondered if the weather would permit me to reach my destination, this sight greeted me on U.S. 82. It serves as a metaphor for what I sensed the Lord was already doing in my heart and would do more of the same if I'd arrived at the cemetery.
By the time I reached the outskirts of Biringham, Ala., rainy conditions left me concerned I would need to bail on my plan and just head to where I would stay the night.
It's been nearly two months since I took this trip, so I needed to squint at the notes I'd taken along the way and try to piece together my thoughts from scribbled words and questionable letters.
I did and recalled more about the soundtrack it seems God himself picked for me along the way, including "Walking in Memphis," "Heaven," Los Lonely Boys and "Son of a Sailor" by Jimmy Buffet.
As I proceeded, I discovered the weather I'd been concerned would keep me from getting to the graveside not only wouldn't be there, it served as a backdrop for some amazing pictures.

A Healing Journey - Part I

Over the last several weeks, I've wondered if it would ever stop raining.
We've experienced a few dry days interspersed with biblical downpours. The hope is these rains will taper off and we'll return to standard weather patterns.
Nearly two months ago – near the beginning of this damp spell – I set off on a journey, driven to find a relief similar to the one we seek for these recent rainy conditions.
For many years, I've struggled to find a way out from under a blanket of memories and patterns left over from my interaction with my deceased parents. To this day, I find myself twisting and shifting to remove myself from a straitjacket of old patterns and habits constructed for relationships which ended – for this lifetime – at a community cemetery in Alabama.
I haven't been sure this cloud would ever lift.
As the 11th anniversary of my mother's death approached, I realized something a few weeks before the day arrived – this year's anniversary would fall exactly on the date and day of the week she died.
Instead of taking the time to grieve, I chose instead to dive headlong into the circumstances we faced immediately afterward, deferring actual mourning to an undetermined date and leaving these old habits clinging to me like a leftover dryer sheet.
So, as the calendar rolled toward Sept. 5, I realized doing something on this day would be a good chance to gain some distance from these remnants of a life now gone.
I decided to go to the place where it all should have stopped – the graveside.
As I got ready to leave for the cemetery from Mississippi, I had this sense one of the things I'd be attempting to stare down is the fear of loss, a fear which can cripple someone and prevent even the most calculated risks.
I put on “The Extremist” by Joe Satriani as I confronted cloudy conditions on the first few minutes of the ride. This music – with its sweeping motions from charging and electrifying to simple and emotive – provided a great soundtrack for the first leg of the trip.
As I proceeded, I thought about whether the clouds I'd encountered along the way would ever break, or if would be just as bleak or worse if I'd even make it to the cemetery at all.