OK, first off, let me explain the tag for this - gumbo.
In this sense, this post will have a smattering of all kinds of stuff that's welling up inside, so who knows what will come out?
I have some Irish descent in me somewhere, so at least I have green Post-It notes surrounding me. And as of yet, we don't have Jadyn in anything green.
But the day isn't over by a long stretch.
As I approach 40, I notice that I'm thinking more about people in my past - most often a guy I was in the Guard with named David who I haven't talked to in close to 14 years. I'm beginning to wonder if he's no longer with us - attempts to find him have led nowhere.
And there are those with whom renewed contact might be problematic, you know, past history that's too involved and complicated to bring forward into today.
But I guess I'm looking for some sort of acknowledgment that despite the challenges and struggles - and even my own self-defeating flaws - that I've somehow made a difference, or succeeded in life. Not to say that I've arrived, or that I'm perfect, but that I'm on the right path.
But in realizing that this is what I'm doing, I think I've unearthed a tremendous lack of faith.
Do I have to keep going if I never hear an attaboy? Yes.
"Well done, my good and faithful servant."
That's the one I want to hear. I guess it's selfish and self-centered to look for others along the way.
Am I where I'm supposed to be with the people I'm supposed to be with?
That, in and of itself, is a lack of trust, I suspect.
In most everything we sense, we think we're hitting the mark, overall. But ...
In my upbringing, a sense of doubt found its way into my thinking. It's something that's plagued me my entire life.
Very few things cross my path in which I don't second-guess my ability to handle them.
It's very debilitating and I'm learning - day by day - to overcome it.
A prayer shared by U.S. Rep. Roger Wicker, R-Miss., which House Chaplain Daniel Coughlin used in a prayer service near the opening of the current Congress in January, seems to fit.
It is attributed to the late Mychal Judge, the New York City Fire Department chaplain who died when the South Tower collapsed and sent debris into the North Tower on Sept. 11, 2001.
It reads: "Lord, tell me where You want me to go, Let me meet who You want me to meet, Tell me what You want me to say, And keep me out of Your way."
It is my prayer that I live out this one.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
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Last month, President Bush also cited Fr. Mychal Judge and "Mychal's Prayer" at the National Prayer Breakfast. The President said in part--
"Many in our country know the power of prayer. Prayer changes hearts. Prayer changes lives. And prayer makes us a more compassionate and giving people. When we pray we surrender our will to the Almighty, and open ourselves up to His priorities and His touch. His call to love our neighbors as we would like to be loved ourselves is something that we hear when we pray. And we answer that call by reaching out to feed the hungry and clothe the poor and aid the widow and the orphan. By helping our brothers and sisters in need, we find our own faith strengthened, and we receive the grace to lead lives of dignity and purpose.
"We see this grace in the life of a young American named Shannon Hickey. When Shannon was growing up, her priest was Father Mychal Judge, a chaplain with the New York City Fire Department. Father Mychal helped Shannon and her family through Shannon's struggle with liver disease.
"On September the 11th, 2001, Father Mychal lost his life in the World Trade Center. In memory of her friend, Shannon founded Mychal's Message, a non-profit organization dedicated to sharing Father Mychal's loving spirit. Over the last five years, Mychal's Message has collected and distributed more than 100,000 needed items to the poor and the homeless.
With each gift to the needy, Shannon encloses a card with Father Mychal's personal prayer. It reads: "Lord, take me where you want me to go, let me meet who you want me to meet, tell me what you want me to say, and keep me out of your way."
"Father Mychal's humble prayer reminds us of an eternal truth: In the quiet of prayer, we leave behind our own cares and we take up the cares of the Almighty. And in answering His call to service we find that, in the words of Isaiah, "We will gain new strength. We will run and not get tired. We will walk and not become weary."
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